So I am completely and utterly EXHAUSTED!!! Why you may ask?? Cause I damn near had a heart attack this morning! Well two!! Around 3:45 this morning my 17-year-old was yelling MOM in my face and shaking me (she must have tried whispering for awhile which didn't work LOL). She says I think there are racoons outside my window again trying to get in. She mentioned this a few weeks back but I thought she was either dreaming or a tad insane (that would be from her dad's side of the family). So I drag my "you just scared the crap out of me - someone get the defibrillator" butt into her room and slowly peel back the curtain, looking side to side. Nothing!!! (Damn my husband and his insane hillbilly inbred kin - no offense to any inbred hillbillies I may have as friends ). Nicely told her there was nothing there while resisting the urge to smack her in the head with her pillow. "Mom, I know something is there!!! Rae (her cat) was hissing and growling and I could hear something picking at my screen!!! I know it's those racoons again," She says to me! "Dev, there's nothing there, look", as I peel back the curtain. HOLY FFFFFFFFFF WORD I SCREAM...and I did not say fudge! Two faces come running towards me like I am the tastiest piece of leftover chicken carcass they have ever seen! Will racoons eat carcass covered in poo cause I am pretty sure I damn near crapped my pants! Apparently they felt guilty about scaring my child and me and felt they needed to apologize by putting on a show for us. By indulging in some HRA - hot raccoon action - RIGHT THERE!!! OUTSIDE HER WINDOW!! She starts yelling OMG STOP!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE RACCOON PORN!! As if it isn't bad enough I am almost having a heart attack, on the verge of pooing cause they scared me so bad....now she wants me to pee myself too laughing at her Raccoon porn comment? I need a nap!